school email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Welcome to the greatest class you will ever take. Hosted by ....
Mr. Cunzolo (say it with me: cun-zo-lo)
Why is this the greatest class you will ever take? Aside from the fact that I teach it:
Graduate of Moon High School with a 4.1 GPA, Summa Cum Laude graduate of Duquesne University, Master's Degree in Secondary Education, Bachelor's Degree in Biology, Minor in Biochemistry and Forensic Science, Creator of the fluorescent cyanoacrylate fingerprinting method, 6+ years of successfully teaching 8th/7th grade science at South Park,
and the self proclaimed best dressed teacher
(enough about me), this is science! This is the new frontier of education and the business world. This is the subject that drives America and the entire rest of the world forward. Enjoy that cell phone of yours? Bam! Science. Need deodorant to hide that post gym scent? Bam! Science. Go ahead, think of another technological advancement. I've got enough "bams" to last all year.
All joking aside, science will be the most mentally engaging, thought provoking, and insightful class you will take this year. It will not only challenge you to use your math, language arts, and critical thinking skills all at once, but it will also change the way you see the world. Year after year, my students perform better and leave happier because they clearly see how what they learn applies to the real world. Now, I don't think everyone will grow up to work in a science field, but I do think everyone has the ability to think about the world scientifically. So, let's think scientifically and let's have a fun time while doing it.